What to Do When You Feel Emotionally Numb
Parents don’t spend a lot of time doing things for themselves. And that’s perfectly natural, up to a point. Finding time for practical self-care is tougher than ever, especially if you’re a new parent. When you’re dealing with tons of chores every day, you may not even notice that you’re desensitizing yourself from your life. Between grocery lists and school runs, somewhere along the line, you just stop feeling things, and nothing hits you. So, the question is, what to do when you feel emotionally numb as a parent? First of all, don’t beat yourself up about it. Most parents go through something similar at some point, even if they won’t admit it to themselves and their families. And there are ways of dealing with the issue successfully.
Why Parents Sometimes Go Numb
Emotional numbness is the mind’s attempt to protect itself from overload. And few people feel as overwhelmed as parents. You’ve got someone in your care 24/7, which means financial stress and many sleepless nights. Sure, it’s all worth it for your kids, but it also means chronic stress for years, especially when your kids are younger and less “autonomous.”
Instead of feeling sadness, joy, or anger, you might feel nothing at all. You’re functioning, maybe even performing well on the outside. But inside, you feel distant. It’s not a reflection of your parenting or your love for your children—it’s a sign your emotional system needs care.
Coping Mechanisms and The Danger They Pose
Dealing with emotional numbness as a parent is tough because you don’t have all the time in the world to get in touch with yourself. Sure, you can ponder what to do when you feel emotionally numb, but you also have to take care of your kids all day long. Because of this, we all use different coping mechanisms until we’ve regained our capacity to feel things profoundly. And yes, journaling, breathing exercises, and light workouts are all there to help you cope with the issue.
However, not all coping methods help — some actually contribute to your problems and make them harder to resolve. If emotional numbness goes on, many parents turn to self-destructive habits — even including substance abuse or other risky behaviors.
In an effort to feel something, you do all the wrong things. And unfortunately, it’s really easy to stray from the path of emotional healing into addiction. In most cases, it starts so small that you won’t even notice you’re doing it. That’s why you must pay attention to warning signs you shouldn’t ignore when it comes to damaging behaviors. Due to emotional numbness, you may not notice deeper mental health issues. And that’s why you need to deal with the root cause of your numbness instead of adding fuel to the fire.
How Emotional Numbness Shows Up in Everyday Life
The signs aren’t always dramatic. You might go through the motions of making breakfast, packing lunches, or playing with your child without feeling connected. Things that used to bring joy—like reading bedtime stories or hearing your child laugh—may fall flat. Some parents describe it as feeling like a robot or “just getting through the day.” Other signs include:
A lack of emotional response to good or bad news
A sense of being on autopilot
Feeling distant from your children or partner
Struggling to enjoy activities you used to love
Recognizing these signs helps you avoid deeper issues and get some clarity. It's not laziness. It's not a failure. It’s your nervous system asking for support.
Small Daily Habits to Help You Reconnect
Okay, you’re more actively aware of your emotional disconnection now. The question is — what to do when you feel emotionally numb, and you need to be a supportive parent and partner?
First, don’t be too hard on yourself. You need to change your lifestyle completely, or overnight. To feel more in touch with yourself and your family, you just need to take a few small steps in the right direction. Where you start depends on your preferences. If you need some peace and quiet, try to find five minutes for yourself. Go sit somewhere quiet, feel your feet on the floor, and breathe slowly.
Even a simple breathing exercise will help you compose yourself. Try going for walks—alone or with your kids. The smallest workout can help you release built-up tension and process emotions more easily.
Talking to Your Kids About Emotional Struggles
You don’t need to put on a brave face 24/7. In fact, showing your kids that you have feelings can strengthen the bonds of your family. That doesn’t mean oversharing and stressing out your kids, or causing unnecessary trauma. It means offering small, honest moments: “I’m feeling a little off today, but I’m working on it,” or “Mommy needs a quiet moment to feel better.”
Don’t act like everything is always fine around your kids. And more importantly, don’t hide your emotions. By being emotionally honest, you teach your children that feelings are not threats—they're information you use to know when you need to show empathy.
Plus, this level of emotional honesty will set the right example. In time, your kids will develop into emotionally honest people themselves. This becomes particularly important when you’re parenting teenagers. At that time, most people start losing track of their kids’ thoughts and emotions because they stop sharing.
Therapy Can Help You—and Your Family
You may already be used to putting everyone else's needs first. That’s what parents do. But emotional numbness shows that your needs matter too.
Elizabeth Schane, LCMHC, PMH-C
Founder of Well Roots Counseling and Trauma Specialist
Therapy helps you explore what’s happening inside without guilt or judgment. It helps you reconnect with yourself and start feeling profound emotions again. Of course, the only way to do this is to understand what caused your numbness in the first place — but therapy helps with this too.
Don’t fall for the mental health stigma in modern society. Don’t think you’re not a great parent just because you need some help. In fact, it’s the opposite. The fact that you’re willing to work on yourself while parenting kids 24/7 means you’re willing to do anything for your family. Over time, you’ll find that sweet spot in parenting that doesn’t leave much room for self-doubt. You’ll be absolutely sure that, even if you’re not perfect, you’re being the best parent you can be to your kids.
Final Thoughts
Parenting is already a full-time job. Doing it while feeling emotionally numb makes it even harder. But numbness is not the end of the story—it’s a starting point. It’s your body saying, “It’s time to feel again.”
If you’ve been wondering what to do when you feel emotionally numb, start by finding the time and energy to work on yourself. Everything else will come more easily after. Healing is possible. And feeling joy again—real, full, alive joy—is too.
Sources:
The Influence of Parents on Emotion Regulation in Middle Childhood: A Systematic Review - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9406957/
Emotion Expression and Substance Use in Newly Parenting Adolescents and Young Adults - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5575854/
Burned out Is Not Burned Up: Two Fixes for Parental Burnout - www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/targeted-parenting/202002/burned-out-is-not-burned-two-fixes-parental-burnout.
https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-gray-long-sleeve-shirt-sitting-on-brown-wooden-chair-5255996/